A collection of song fics to fit ByaRuki
by Amethyst Skulkyrie Cain
Summary: Title says it all. Oneshots. T just in case.
1. Why

**Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach, and I don't own the song by Avril Lavigne.**

**First ByaRuki fic, don't like, don't read.**

**Collection of oneshots of songs that remind me of them. Amount of chapters not decided upon yet.**

**This isn't following any particular time line, so choose for yourself when it happened.**

Rukia wandered the corridors of the Kuchiki Mansion, wishing people would leave her alone. She'd refused proposals from Renji and Ichigo, and so they'd taken to ignoring her. Even worse, her Nii – sama was treating her the same as always. No one was talking to her, they all ignored her. All because of one little mistake:

She'd swore at an Elder during a meeting with every single Captain and Lieutenant.

_**Flashback:**_

"_So, it's settled then. Rukia Kuchiki has a month to marry someone within the Soul Society. Captain, or Lieutenant." A hammer was banged on a table, creating a dent within the mahogany table._

_Rukia stood up. "No! That's it! I'm sick and tired of people telling me how to run my life. Just fuck off and leave me alone. I don't want to marry, I don't want to create an heir, and I sure as hell didn't want the ENTRIETY of Nobles, Captains, and Lieutenants to know either! Just leave me alone! Fuck off, ALL of you!"_

_Everyone had gaped at her, stunned beyond words. Kuchiki's just didn't lose control. Not now, not ever. _

_Byakuya had stood up, his normally emotionless face_ _containing fire within his eyes._

"_That's enough. Go home, we'll talk about this later."_

_As she had ran out of the room, she'd heard him say: "She may not be a Kuchiki very longer, and may find herself back in the 78__th__ District for her unacceptable behaviour. My apologies, I did not – would not – expect that of her." _

_Murmurs had gone up around the room, and Rukia had run off, tears streaming down her face._

_Ichigo and Renji had done her best to cheer her up, each one proposing to her, but she'd pretty much repeated herself to them._

_**End of flashback**_

Now, everyone was ignoring her, and Byakuya now completely ignored her existence. Like always. Byakuya Kuchiki had never shown a single ounce of kindness to her, apart from when he'd taken wounds for her, when fighting a hollow. But, even then, he'd still not spoken to her. Only put her down.

She'd been listening to a song from the Human World, called Why, by Avril Lavigne. It was in her head, and Rukia found herself back in her room, singing softly, with tears pouring down her face, and her normally melodious voice cracking with emotion.

"_Why... do you always do this to me?_

_Why... couldn't you just see it through me?_

_How come... you act like this,_

_like you just don't care at all..."_

She'd wanted Byakuya to find the hidden meaning behind her words, to help her in everything she had done that day. But no.

"_Do you expect me to believe... I was the only one to fall? I could feel, I could feel you near me, even though you're far away._

_I could feel, I could feel you, baby, why?"_

Yes. She needed Byakuya. Now, more than ever.

"_It's not supposed to feel this way, _

_I need you, I need you,_

_More and more each day"_

She needed Byakuya to tell her it was okay. That she'd done good standing up for herself, like she'd always been told to do. But he'd acted like it was outrageous behaviour, and had threatened to kick her out. Standing up for yourself wasn't supposed to feel like this.

"_I need you, I need you, I need you_

_Tell me... are you and me still together?_

_Tell me... do we think we could last forever?_

_Tell me... why."_

That bit didn't necessarily apply, but it seemed to fit her.

"_Hey, listen to what we're not saying_

_Let's play... a different game than what we're playing._

_Try, to look at me, and really see my heart"_

He was her brother, her Nii – sama, and yet he'd practically disowned her. He never saw her, he always saw Hisana, her older sister, and hated Rukia for it.

"_Do you expect me to believe, I'm gonna let us fall apart?_

_I could feel, I could feel you near me, _

_even though you're far away,_

_I could feel, I could feel you, baby, why?_

_It's not supposed to feel this way_

_I need you, I need you,_

_More and more each day._

_It's not supposed to hurt this way."_

Standing up for yourself normally meant feeling victorious, not horrible and like a criminal. People weren't meant to disown you, or your best friends ignore you. Like they'd never known you. Rukia could act happy, but she was quite the opposite.

She carried on singing, feeling dead all the time.

"_I need you, I need you, I need you,_

_Tell me, are you and me still together?_

_Tell me, do you think we could last forever?_

_Tell me, why."_

Hugging herself, Rukia felt so dead, so lifeless... but she still sung.

"_So go and think about whatever you need to think about,_

_Go ahead and dream about whatever you need to dream about,_

_And come back to me when you know just how you feel,_

_you feel..."_

They'd never come back to her. She'd dishonoured the family, and was going to get kicked out of the Kuchiki family, away from everything she'd ever known.

"_I could feel, I could feel you near me,_

_Even though you're far away,_

_I could feel, I could feel you, baby, why?"_

Even though everyone hated her now, she felt closer to them for some unexplainable reason.

"_It's not supposed to hurt this way_

_I need you, I need you._

_More and more each day"_

Byakuya, Renji, Ichigo, Ukitake, Unohana. She needed them all.

"_It's not supposed to hurt this way,_

_I need you, I need you, I need you_

_Tell me"_

Standing up for yourself was never meant to hurt, never meant to eat you from the inside out. It was never meant to kill you.

It was meant to feel victorious.

So why isn't she feeling like that?

"_It's not supposed to hurt this way_

_I need you, I need you,_

_More and more each day_

_It's not supposed to hurt this way_

_I need you, I need you_

_Tell me, are you and me still together?_

_Tell me, do we think we could last forever?_

_Tell me, why?"_

As she finished singing, she reached for a photo of Nii – sama, and a gun.

"Byakuya, I love you."

With a scream, she shot herself, images of her secret beloved filling her mind.

The next day, Byakuya found Rukia's body, clutching his photo.

He'd been intending to tell her he was sorry, and that he loved her. But he never got the chance to. Using that same gun, he too, took his life.

They were buried together, side by side.

**Whew... I cried writing this.**

**Please review!**

**:)**


	2. Fall to pieces

**Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach. Or Byakuya Kuchiki. Sighs.**

**Not all oneshots in this will be angsty. All will be romance.**

**Enjoy, and please review ;)**

**This is – again – a song by Avril Lavigne. My idol!**

It was a dinner party with all the nobles belonging to the Kuchiki clan. Rukia was sat opposite her brother, next to a man who kept trying to fondle her right thigh. Trying not to make her glare and hand slap obvious, Rukia looked at her brother.

_I looked away, _

_Then I looked back at you_

Recently, Byakuya had been trying to apologise for his cold and withdrew behaviour to Rukia. She'd let him trouble over voicing himself, and then halted his stuttering with a hug and a well deserved smile.

_You try to say_

_The things that you can't undo_

Rukia had been trying to act like normal to her Nii – sama, but to no avail. She was always stuttering, blushing, and smiling like a fool. Of course, Byakuya always acted like she was being normal, which she was grateful for.

_If I had my way, _

_I'd never get over you._

But she had to, for fear of disgracing the family name if anyone ever found out.

_Today's the day _

_I pray that we make it through._

Neither wanted to be at the family gathering, they just wanted to be alone. But Rukia had promised her Nii – sama that she'd behave, and he had promised the same in return. That was all the other needed.

_Make it through the fall,_

_Make it through it all_

Together, side by side, they could make it. Hiding behind their separate lies, their masks.

_And I don't wanna fall to pieces_

_I just want to sit and stare at you_

And she did. For most of the dinner, tuning out the monotonous voices of the nobles around her, she stared at Byakuya.

_I don't wanna talk about it_

_And I don't want a conversation_

She ignores the dead end conversation starters from the noble next to her, and when he reached for her thigh again, she shoved a fist into his area and twisted, acting all innocent when Byakuya looked quizzically at her.

_I just want to cry in front of you_

_I don't want to talk about it_

She could never afford to let him see the side of her that contained love for him.

_'Cuz I'm in love with you_

And Rukia always would be.

_You're the only one_

_I'd be with 'til the end_

He wouldn't take advantage of her, and she wouldn't him.

_When I come undone,_

_You bring me back again_

His tone always seemed harsh whenever he reprimanded her, but she had learnt to read the care hidden well within the tellings off. He didn't want to lose her.

She didn't want to lose him.

_Back under the stars_

_Back into your arms._

Although he never physically told her, Rukia knew that he'd always open his arms to give her comfort should she ask for it. She never did, though, as Kuchiki's don't show weaknesses.

But the offer was still there.

_And I don't wanna fall to pieces_

_I just want to sit and stare at you_

During the dessert time of the dinner, when all was silent, Rukia kept her eyes on Nii – sama, but he did a lot more discreetly, never meeting her eyes.

_I don't want to talk about it_

_And I don't want a conversation_

Once again, she ignored the useless attempts at conversing that happened all around the table. Rukia just stared into her cookie dough ice cream, ignoring everyone and everything, even the still groaning man to her right.

_I just want to cry in front of you_

_I don't want to talk about it_

Just to let down her mask, for even a second...

Was that too much to ask for?

_'Cuz I'm in love with you_

And she always would be.

_Wanna know who you are_

_Wanna know where to start_

Sometimes, Rukia questioned Hisana's motives. Did she really know Byakuya at all? Did she want to know? Her death had destroyed Byakuya Kuchiki, and why? Because she couldn't find her sister. It was all her fault, and yet... Rukia couldn't find it in herself to truly hate Hisana.

She wanted to know Byakuya, but where was the best place to start?

_I wanna know what this means_

_Wanna know how you feel_

How did her Nii – sama feel about her? Did he care for her at all? The answer to that was 'yes', but he'd never proved it.

_Wanna know what is real_

_I wanna know everything, everything_

Every part of him, every flaw of him, every secret of his... everything.

_And I don't wanna fall to pieces_

_I just wanna sit and stare at you_

And Rukia did, even when the nobles had started to leave. Byakuya got up to see them out, but her eyes never left his leaving form.

_I don't want to talk about it_

_And I don't want a conversation_

They didn't converse at all that night, not even to say 'Goodnight'.

_I just want to cry in front of you_

_I don't want to talk about it_

Letting her guard down, she decided to take him up on his offer.

When he walked back into the room, she flung herself into his arms, tears pouring down her face. He merely sat there, holding her, and murmuring sweet nothings into her ear.

_I'm in love with you_

_'Cuz I'm in love with you_

No matter what, he'd be there until the end.

_I'm in love with you_

_I'm in love with you._

Pressing a soft kiss to her lips, he inwardly swore to spend forever with her – however long forever was.

What neither knew, is that the same promise was made by the other.

**Please review!**

**:)**

**XxX Amethyst XxX**


	3. I will be

**Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach, and I don't own ByaRuki.**

**In this particular collection of song fics, I take song suggestions/requests, as long as they fit ByaRuki. You may have noticed how they're all Avril Lavigne, but this is the last A.L. one for a while! **

**:) Enjoy, and please review.**

**Thanks to Echo Uchiha for being the first one to review!**

I will be – Avril Lavigne

Dinner was silent. As usual. Byakuya was ignoring Rukia, and she was ignoring the butterflies in her stomach, staring at her ramen. She'd been hungry earlier. But then she'd spotted Byakuya, and it'd died away.

Rukia started singing to herself.

"_There's nothing I could say to you,_

_Nothing I could ever do to make you see,_

_What you mean to me."_

Byakuya stared into his cup of coffee, quietly listening. Who was this directed to? Renji? Ichigo? He'd never heard her sing, but she was good. Rukia was singing so quietly, Byakuya didn't think he was meant to hear.

But in the silence of the room, that's unavoidable.

"_All the pain, the tears I cried._

_Still you never said goodbye,_

_And now I know..._

_How far you'd go."_

How far he'd go to do what? Was Rukia talking about all the times he'd disappeared for weeks on end without saying anything? Yes, that must be it.

"_I know I let you down,_

_But it's not like that now._

_This time I'll never let you go..._

_I will be, all that you want, and get myself together,_

_'Cause you keep me from falling apart._

_All my life, I'll be with you forever,_

_To get you through the day, _

_And make everything OK..."_

Rukia had a beautiful voice, and, without thinking, she got up and started spinning in graceful circles as she sang softly. Every now and then, she'd meet his gaze, and smile softly.

Then realisation hit him faster than ever before.

She was singing about him.

"_I thought that I had everything_

_I didn't know what life could bring._

_But now I see, honestly._

_You're the one thing I got right..."_

She did have everything, didn't she? Byakuya sat there, watching her, with a soft, discreet smile on his face as he watched Rukia dance and sing to herself. Normally, he would tell her to act like a Kuchiki, and not be silly, but, for some reason, he didn't have it in his iced over black heart to tell her to stop.

"_The only one I let inside_

_Now I can breathe, 'cause you're here with me!_

_And if I let you down, I'll turn it all around_

_'Cause I would never let you go..."_

She'd never really let him down, because Byakuya had always halted her before she could. So much like her sister, but so different from her at the same time. Beautiful in body and soul.

"_I will be all that you want and get myself together _

_'Cause you keep me from falling apart!_

_All my life, I'll be with you forever._

_To get you through the day, and make everything OK..."_

Byakuya couldn't help but doubt her there. Not everything could be made OK by love and comfort. Some things ran deeper than that.

Like the love he held for Rukia.

"_'Cause without you, I can't sleep_

_I'm not gonna ever, ever let you leave!_

_You're all I got_

_You're all I want...!"_

Rukia started spinning over to Byakuya gracefully. Dinner was now in the backs of their minds. Rukia had actually forgotten she was in the presence of her Nii – sama.

Byakuya, on the other hand, was enthralled by her.

"_Yeah!_

_And without you, I don't know what I'd do._

_I could never, ever live a day without you!_

_Here, with me, do you see? You're all I need!_

_And I will be, all that you want,_

_And get myself together, _

_'cause you keep me from falling apart!..."_

The song, and dance moves alike, were getting more intense, and Rukia was becoming breathless. She was still singing softly, and Byakuya still had to strain slightly to hear her.

He'd heard reports from Captain Ukitake over how withdrawn Rukia had become when he'd leave on missions, and from the servant's how she would rarely eat.

Renji had said that he'd once found her in his bedroom, sobbing into his pillow.

Byakuya had never mentioned it, but he was touched by her actions.

"_All my life_

_(my life)_

_I'll be with you forever_

_To get you through the day, _

_and make everything OK..."_

Byakuya could see Rukia getting lost within the song, and he was too. He'd always dreamed of being with her. Well... always being from when she beat Renji up about a year ago in the human world after he'd accused her of being short on purpose. Since then, he'd been falling gradually.

Sure, he'd tried to quench it, but then, he'd started to get protective of her. And so it began.

"_I will be _

_(I'll be)_

_All that you want, _

_And get myself together,_

_'Cause you keep me from falling apart..."_

Rukia stopped at Byakuya's feet, and stood there, smiling at him. They both wanted to be together, but their love was a forbidden one. Frowned upon. Byakuya was a noble, and could not allow this relationship of theirs to carry on.

Not that it had ever started.

Right there, right then, he made a life changing decision, and threw out everything he believed in.

Swooping her into his arms, he kissed her fully, putting everything he felt for her in it.

She pulled back. "Nii – sama..." He cut her off with another kiss.

"Byakuya – sama. Say it." He fixed her with a glare, and she obeyed, smiling widely.

"Byakuya – sama." He smiled, and they kissed again.

Pulling away, she finished her song.

"_And all my life, _

_I'll be with you forever._

_To get you through the day, _

_And make everything OK!"_

He smiled, his forehead touching hers. "Promise?"

She nodded. "I, Rukia Kuchiki, hereby promise to stay with you forever."

"Good."

**Whew. That was harder to write. Cheesy ending though. At least, I think so:)**

**Review, and, remember:**

**If it fits ByaRuki, I take song suggestions.**

**:)XxXAmethystXxX:)**


	4. Obsessed?

**Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach, or its characters. The only thing I own with this particular fic is the plot. If it has been done before, excuse me. I did not know. I've read all ByaRuki fics, and not seen one like this, so... yeah, I also don't own the song 'Obsessed' by Miley Cyrus. Granted, I don't really like Miley, but I love her music, because most of it is meaningful. If you don't agree, no flames because I'll just laugh and use them to roast the marshmallows for tonight at the BBQ we're having :)**

**Enjoy, and please review!**

**Warning: If you haven't already noticed, this is a ByaRuki. 'Mkay, read and enjoy... (Oh, now I'm getting repetitive...)**

It was 2am, and Rukia Kuchiki was restless. She couldn't sleep, couldn't get him off of her mind.

It was like someone had sellotaped pictures of him to her eyelids.

It was wrong, and she knew it.

But it was too late. She'd already fallen completely in love.

But this was different to all the other fan-girls who were in 'love' with him.

Rukia did her best to hide her feelings, but it hadn't worked.

_Why do I just lie awake and think of you?_

_I need some sleep, tomorrow I have things to do._

_Every time I close my eyes I see your face._

_So I try to read, but all I do is lose my place._

She'd tried everything to get to sleep. Hot milk, soothing music playing quietly in the background, blocking out all the lights, reading... none of it worked.

Rukia was tempted to take a sleeping pill, but she had stuff to do tomorrow, and pills like that normally put her in a comatose type sleep.

Never a good thing.

_Am I obsessed with you?_

_I do my best not to want you_

_But I do all the time._

_I do all the time._

Rukia groaned, and threw her vintage Chappy the Rabbit duvet off of her, and clambered out of bed. She padded to the door, and opened it, before looking left and right.

Making her way down the corridor, she stopped in front of a certain person's door, and chewed her lip, wringing her hands in contemplation. Eventually, she gave up, and hesitantly opened the door.

_I just had to call you up, and say 'hello'_

_I know it's 3am, and I saw you awhile ago_

_But I still had this aching need to hear your voice, _

_To know you're there, I don't seem to have any choice._

She crept into the room, trying not to wake the still, sleeping form on the bed. Rukia walked right up to the bed, and looked down, with a slight smile on her face. She sighed, and touched her hair, before trailing a hand down his face, laying her hand on his cheek.

_Am I obsessed with you?_

_I do my best not to want you_

_But I do all the time,_

_I do all the time, ooh yeah_

Rukia leaned down, and kissed his forehead, before pulling back and turning away. Unbeknownst to her, he'd been awake the whole time. He opened his eyes. All pretence of sleeping was over, and Rukia noticed a change in his pattern of slow, steady breathing. She turned around, fear in her eyes. Even in the dark, he could see the fear in her eyes.

_I'm so sorry I just had to wake you up, _

_I feel so lonely by myself_

_Is this the way it feels when you're in love?_

_Or is this something else? _

_Yeah!_

With a single finger, he motioned for her to come to him, and he flipped the duvet back with a hand and foot, all the while laying down. His grey eyes followed her as she walked to the bed, and she looked at him. He nodded, and she smiled, getting in. Rukia pulled the duvet back up.

"I'm sorry. I couldn't sleep." She whispered, nestling into the silk sheets.

"Don't worry about it. Sleep, Rukia. We'll talk in the morning." Rukia nodded, and shut her eyes, feeling strangely complete.

_Am I obsessed with you?_

_I do my best not to want you_

_But I do all the time_

_I want you all the time_

_Ooh yeah!_

_But I do all the time,_

_I want you all the time..._

_Am I... obsessed with you?_

Rukia didn't care at that moment, but she like the feeling. He wrapped an arm around her, pulling her close.

"Sleep, Rukia." His tone was soft, but commanding at the same time.

Nestling deeper – if that were possible – into the sheets, Rukia put a hand on his thigh, emitting a gasp from said man, and one hand on his chest, trying to get more warmth.

She was home. Side by side with her secret love.

He by her, and she by him, hand in hand, they could make it through anything. Yearning to belong, they'd finally found a place to belong. In each other.

Yes, Byakuya Kuchiki and Rukia Kuchiki had a forbidden, but eternally strong bond that nothing could ever even hope to break.

**Remember, please review! I hope you liked that.**

**:)XxXAmethystXxX:)**


	5. My Guardian Angel

**Disclaimer: Okay, so my fifth songfic for my favourite Bleach pairing EVER; ByaRuki. I don't own Bleach – obviously, nor do I own this song; My Guardian Angel by Red Jumpsuit Apparatus, who are like... one of my favourite bands EVER! Read and Review! :)**

Byakuya turned in his chair, looking out the window that showed the courtyard just beyond the tree planted in Hisana's honour. He saw Rukia thump Ichigo on the head, and heard her yell something about insulting midgets, and that she'd set Byakuya on him.

Without coffee beforehand.

Byakuya smirked as Ichigo winced, and watched as Ichigo put his hands up and plead with Rukia. He watched as she smiled, then sighed and turned back to his work.

_When I see you smile_

_Tears run down my face_

_I can't replace..._

The weather was sun and rain, on and off. In a brief lapse of concentration, Byakuya had accidentally given Renji the day off:

**Flashback**

"_Captain, can I take the day off, please? Ichigo and I are wanting to spar. Captain?" Renji had been stood in front of Byakuya's desk, laughing nervously and rubbing the back of his neck. _

_Byakuya had looked up at Renji's silently pleading face, looked down, filled in some more paperwork, and then, caught up in his own thoughts of Rukia, he said "yes". _

_It wasn't until he'd heard the door slam shut that he figured out that he'd given Renji a day off. Something he never did. _

**End of flashback**

Byakuya cursed under his breath, and looked at the window again, at Rukia. He knew it was wrong. It was forbidden, against the Kuchiki laws. All his life, he'd lived by laws and promises he'd made in early childhood. He'd never thought of breaking a rule, or a law. It was against everything he'd ever believed in. But for some reason, Rukia brought out suppressed teen rebelliousness back from when he'd first learned of his destiny. This time, he didn't care.

Looking back, he could see that he'd always saved Rukia, in some way or another. Whenever she was away fighting, Byakuya would be on edge, and if she was ever in danger, he'd somehow subconsciously know, and would race off, without an explanation. And... almost as if she knew, Time would slow down slightly, so that Byakuya could push Rukia out of the way and take the blow for her. Without a seconds hesitation.

He'd spoken to Ukitake about it, and Ukitake had only chuckled, and shaken his head, biting his lip, saying things like: 'You care for her, Byakuya – sama.', and 'Call it brotherly intuition'.

But now he knew. He'd fallen for Kuchiki Rukia.

At night, he'd lie there, and repeat over and over, like a mantra: **You don't love her. It's just a phase of loneliness. Yes, that's it. You don't love her. You can't.** Never did he believe it. But over time, (like, a few weeks of this repeating) he'd gotten stronger. Byakuya often wanted to just take her last scrap of innocence, but he wanted her to be happy. He'd do anything for that.

Even if it meant sacrificing his own happiness, he'd do it.

_...And now that I'm strong I have figured out_

_How this world turns cold, and it breaks through my soul_

_And I know I'll find deep inside me_

_I can be the one..._

All through his teens and young adulthood, Byakuya had only seen what he wanted to see. But after Hisana's death, he'd realised that the world was very cold. It could shatter one's soul in a matter of seconds.

_...I will never let you fall_

_I'll stand up for you forever_

_I'll be there for you through it all_

_Even if saving you sends me to Heaven..._

Whenever she tripped on an traditional kimono, whenever she tripped over a flat surface, or her own foot, or flew through the air after a hollow sliced her with its claws, he'd catch her.

Whenever the elders said that she wasn't worthy to be a Kuchiki, and Byakuya would look over to see her eyes shimmering with unshed tears, he'd speak up, and defend her. She'd smile in gratitude, and it'd kill him inside to not be able to respond the way he wanted to.

Even if it killed him, he'd always save her. No matter what.

_...It's okay. It's okay, it's okay._

_And seasons are changing,_

_and waves are crashing,_

_and stars are falling all for us._

_Days grow longer, and nights grow shorter,_

_I can show you I'll be the one..._

If she chose him, he'd always be there for her, comfort her, love her. Hell, if his ego allowed it (and it _was_ pretty big) he'd be at her beck and call. Not that Rukia would allow that, of course. She hated being mollycoddled, and protected from things.

She was the kind of girl to do something if you said 'don't do...'

_...I will never let you fall_

_I'll stand up for you forever_

_I'll be there for you through it all_

_Even if saving you sends me to Heaven..._

Even if it killed him, he'd always be there for her. No matter what she said or did.

_...'Cause you're my, you're my, my_

_My true love, my whole heart._

_Please don't throw that away._

_'Cause I'm here for you_

_Please don't walk away, and,_

_please tell me you'll stay._

_Stay..._

For weeks on end, she'd been asking to transfer to Captain Ukitake's squad, to be his lieutenant, and fill in Kaien's **(Did I get that right?)** spot after so long.

To be honest, Byakuya was considering letting her go, but he wasn't sure if he wanted to. After all, he selfishly wanted her in his squad, where he could keep an eye on her. But if she knew that, she'd get really angry.

And possibly bully him like she does to Ichigo and Renji. He smirked at the thought.

_...Use me as you will_

_pull my strings just for a thrill_

_And I know I'll be okay,_

_though my skies are turning gray..._

Byakuya didn't care if she didn't love him. Well, he did, but... even if she just wanted to play with his heart for a while, then he'd happily let her do so, just to feel some sort of happiness.

Happiness... what was the true meaning of happiness when everyone died after a few centuries, when nothing lasted forever?

_...I will never let you fall_

_I'll stand up for you forever_

_I'll be there for you through it all_

_Even if saving you sends me to Heaven..._

Byakuya wanted her to want him, he wanted her to love him, wanted her to want what he did. But it could never happen. Ichigo or Renji would eventually claim her as theirs.

Oh, he could pretend. Pretend that they were together. But wishing never gets you anything. If you want something, you have to fight for it. But how much longer could Byakuya fight?

_...I will never let you fall_

_I'll stand up with you forever_

_I'll be there for you through it all_

_Even if saving you sends me to Heaven._

His love was unrequited. And yet, still he fought. Still he yearned. Secretly, never letting his guard down.

Byakuya's love, his true love, didn't love him back. How could she?

How could she, Kuchiki Rukia, love Kuchiki Byakuya, her adopted brother?

**And... done! Read and review.**


	6. Unwanted

**Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach. Tite Kubo… ah, sod it, you guys know the drill! Read and review : )**

**Unwanted, by Avril Lavigne.**

In the beginning, when Rukia had been told that she was now adopted, all she had had to do was wear a really formal kimono she had been given, keep a straight back while walking into the Kuchiki Conference Room and smile, shaking hands and bowing all the time to leave the best possible impression.

That wasn't too hard.

But Rukia hated wearing formal things. She liked getting down and dirty. _Not that that'll happen anymore…_ Rukia thought glumly.

When she had first walked in, Byakuya had had a terribly stiff posture, and there was triumph, happiness and a hint of sadness in his eyes as she had walked up, all smiles and pleasantries. The Elder Kuchiki's had said that Byakuya - who she was told to call Nii-sama at home, and Captain Kuchiki when he was at work - wasn't known very well by most people, and so Rukia had made it her private goal to find out as much as she could about her new Nii-sama.

_All that I did was walk over_

_Start off by shaking your hands_

_That's how it went._

_I had a smile on my face_

_And I sat up straight_

_Oh, yeah, yeah._

_I wanted to know you, _

_I wanted to show you…_

After a few weeks of settling in, Rukia had noticed that Byakuya-sama mostly ignored her, not even glancing at her at breakfast. What had she done wrong? As far as she could tell, nothing out of the ordinary. She'd followed all the rules set out before her…

For the most part, he seemed to just shut her out, tune out her small talk over meals and act like she wasn't there. It made her angry. He didn't know her. He hadn't even tried. But then her heart softened and her anger subsided every time she remembered that look in his eyes upon seeing her. Sadness.

She knew it was to do with Hisana. His late wife. Died after the cherry blossoms went out of season.

She also knew that if he could, Byakuya-sama would send her away,

…_You don't know me_

_Don't ignore me_

_You don't want me there_

_You just shut me out_

_You don't know me,_

_Don't ignore me_

_If you had your way_

_You'd just shut me up_

_Make me go away…_

She didn't understand why he never spoke to her, not even an 'hello, Rukia' in the morning. Most nights, she suffered with nightmares and cried herself back to sleep, missing the comfort of being able to cry freely as her best friend Renji held her, back before she was adopted.

It was killing Rukia, the helplessness she felt towards her new Nii-sama. How badly she wanted to help him overcome his grief. She wanted to lay with him at night, to get rid of her nightmares. But, despite it all, she was growing to love him. As a brother. _Or maybe something more_.

Whenever Rukia would think this, she would immediately tell herself off mentally. There was no room for such indulgences when there was work to be done.

Sometimes, at night, she could hear him talking to the other Elders about the pain she was causing him. He hadn't even _tried_ to get to know her. It was hypocritical, really. She was told to never judge a book by its cover, and here he was, doing that exact thing.

…_(That I'm so unwanted)_

_No, I just don't understand why_

_You won't talk to me_

_It hurts_

_That I'm unwanted for nothing_

_Don't talk words against me_

_I wanted to know you,_

_I wanted to show you…_

At night, Rukia would cry herself to sleep, missing the days of freedom. She hated wearing dresses, she preferred shorts or jeans, hell, jogging bottoms were good too. Some nights, she could almost _swear_ when she was falling to sleep he was standing in her doorway, watching her, like a guardian angel.

Rukia knew she loved him as more than a Nii-sama. She'd been falling gradually. But she could never tell him. She'd be kicked out for sure… it hurt her, thinking of how he was supposed to be her big brother, and yet she couldn't even share the trivial things with him.

Unbeknownst to her, he yearned to talk with her, but the Elders had made him promise that he wouldn't get too involved… she was not a Kuchiki by blood; only by marriage. He had fought so hard with the law in order to be able to adopt her. He knew about how she cried at night, but could do nothing. It killed him, pulled at ripped at his heartstrings, but he allowed this torture to overcome him, resulting in his consumption of a glass of sake every night.

…_You don't know me_

_Don't ignore me_

_You don't want me there_

_You just shut me out_

_You don't know me_

_Don't ignore me_

_If you had your way_

_You'd just shut me up_

_Make me go away_

_Make me go away…_

And how, if he so chose to do that, would he get Rukia to leave? Gradually, bit by bit, he started opening up to her. At first, it was rare smiles and nods of acknowledgements in the mornings, and, eventually, they started having small talk during meals, and, before either of them knew it, they were talking regularly. Hell, some nights, rare though they were, he'd make her hot chocolate with marshmallows, whipped cream, and a flake crumbled over the top of that, then sit on the end of their bed, talking and hugging (this only ever happened with a nightmare).

…_I tried to belong_

_It didn't seem wrong_

_My head aches_

_It's been so long_

_I'll write this song_

_If that's what it takes_

The Elders had never approved, but Byakuya-sama didn't care as much as he used to. He and Rukia would spar in his private training room, him coaching her, giving her advice after every move, on how to improve and what she did better. He would point out even the minor mistakes.

It was his way of showing he cared.

Teaching her to be the best of the best.

…_You don't know me_

_Don't ignore me_

_You don't want me there_

_You just shut me out_

_You don't know me_

_Don't ignore me_

_If you had your way_

_You'd just shut me up_

_Make me go away_

_You don't know me_

_Don't ignore me_

_You don't want me there_

_You just shut me out_

_You don't know me_

_Don't ignore me_

_If you had your way_

_You'd just shut me up_

_Make me go away…_

But he couldn't. Not anymore. He'd fallen for her. Just like he had her older sister. He loved her. But, it could never happen. So he'd pretend that he didn't, and continue watching over her. And then, maybe one day, he'd tell her.

…_Make me go away_

_Make me go away._

She couldn't ignore him, like he did her. She'd fallen. It was forbidden, it could never happen. Incest was frowned upon. But, one day, she'd tell him, and just hope that the feeling was mutual.

**Read and review!**


	7. Home

**Disclaimer: I'm so so so sorry for not having updated for such a long time, and I'm fully aware that I've most likely lost most, if not all of my readers, if I had any at all. I'm not excusing anything, but I've been so busy with school, exams and work that I just forgot about this. However, I am in the process of updating _all_ of the stories that requite updating, so, if you read more than one of my stories, keep an eye out ;)**

**Read and review, please. Oh, and, before I forget, this songfic is 'Home' by Three Days Grace. I have a feeling that this will be slightly angsty.**

_I'll be coming home_

_Just to be alone_

_'Cause I know you're not there_

_And I know that you don't care._

_I can hardly wait to leave this place_

That was it. Rukia had finally had enough of training with Lieutenant Abarai Renji, and had just left without saying goodbye, running home. Renji had called after her to ask if she was okay, but he knew the answer. Rukia had not been okay for some time. He could not pinpoint the exact moment Rukia seemed to become little more than a shell, but he was sure she started to lose pieces of herself after Byakuya had gotten run through with Aizen's sword.

Rukia was only going back to the Kuchiki Manor because she knew that he would be in a Captains meeting. As always. She also knew that Byakuya didn't really care for her. The only reason he had taken her in was to honour his dead late wife, Hisana Kuchiki. She was grateful beyond words, but she wouldn't have minded a bit of acknowledgement towards her existence every now and then.

_No matter how hard I try  
>You're never satisfied<br>This is not a home  
>I think I'm better off alone<em>

No matter how many training hours she put in, no matter how many tests she passed, no matter how many questions she answered correctly, no matter how polite she was, he was never impressed. It was never enough for him.

She never felt like she was truly at home, like she was truly relaxed. Like she was truly wanted there. Rukia oftentimes felt as though she could look after herself, because, most days, she was forced to fend for herself. He was meant to be her older brother, her Nii-sama. But where was he when she needed him most? Sure, he had saved her more times than she cared to recall, and she'd think that he'd finally warmed up to her, and then he'd go back to ignoring her.

Like he didn't care.

_You always disappear  
>Even when you're here<br>This is not my home  
>I think I'm better off alone<br>Home, this house is not a home_

What made it even worse was that, even when he was home, it would seem as though he wasn't. Rukia would wait obediently at the door step, for him to come home, and he'd stalk straight past her, and she would, the servants of the Household noted, visibly droop. Of course, there were times when he'd cast his eyes in her direction for a few seconds, but then he'd just stalk right off and pay her no more attention the rest of the evening.

Looking after her was an obligation, not something he had wanted to do. It was to honour Hisana, nothing more. She had been foolish to believe that he might want her to be his younger sister, to be her protector.

_By the time you come home  
>I'm already stoned<br>You turn off the tv  
>And you scream at me<br>I can hardly wait  
>'Til you get off my case<em>

On one occasion, several months ago now, Rukia had been waiting for Byakuya to come home, and had spotted sake in the corner of the kitchen, and had gotten drunk off her face by the time he had walked in. He was, to say the least, most displeased.

He hadn't yelled at her, instead he had just disgustedly held her hair back as she vomited in the toilet, muttering insults all the while, and then, in the morning, when the hangover set it, he had been colder than was normal, and had grudgingly taken care of her.

Again, an obligation, not because he had wanted to.

_No matter how hard I try  
>You're never satisfied<br>This is not a home  
>I think I'm better off alone<br>_

Nothing she did would ever be enough for him. But she wouldn't give up. Kuchiki's didn't _do_ giving up. Ever.

_You always disappear  
>Even when you're here<br>This is not my home  
>I think I'm better off alone<br>Home, this house is not a home  
><em>Even as he sat in his study, working the night away, Rukia would continue acting the part, and Renji would continue watching Rukia fall to pieces over something so small as Byakuya's stoic exterior.

_This house is not a home  
>I'm better off alone<em>

She wanted to run away, and, maybe she would. One day. Maybe one day she's finally snap. Maybe one day, Byakuya would finally warm up to her.

They could only hope.

**Okay, so not sure how this turned out... read and review? **


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